There is a universal truth in pregnancy and birth.
"No two labors are the same."
There is also the flip side to that truth: "No two pregnant bodies are the same." Pregnant women come in all shapes and sizes. Smaller women can deliver large babies and larger women can have trouble delivering average sized babies. It isn't the shape of the mama, it's the shape of the pelvis and how you move it that counts.
As a plus-sized mama myself, I ask that you not judge the ability or the fitness of a woman to give birth based on size alone. Supportive care needs to overcome any pre-conceived notions about women of size and their fitness and nutrition.
Not supportive: "You sure got nailed by the stretch marks!" "Maybe the nausea is nature's way to get you to lose some weight!" "You have got a lot of weight to carry, maybe you'd be more comfortable in bed." "Your baby must take after his dad, he's so lean!" "Are you sure it's not twins?"
Please, please, never say something like that to pregnant woman based on her weight.
As caregivers, it is proper to assess a woman's health as part of your work. You can observe a larger woman and note concern about her nutrition or fitness level. However, try not to let your first impression interfere with what you subsequently see or hear from her. She may have excellent nutrition, she may have recently lost more weight to improve her health prior to conceiving, she may be very strong and active, as she carries a larger load every day.
You might secretly suspect that your larger client eats chips on the couch every night, when, in fact, she has a balanced diet with lots of veggies and rides her bike to work. That thin woman you see could well be the couch potato with sub-standard nutrition.
In pregnancy and in labor, encourage all moms to be active. Be prepared to support more weight with a larger mom, but you'll likely be surprised by her strength. Protect your back when supporting her and plant your legs in a wide stance, firmly on the ground. Please don't ever complain about how heavy she is to hold, or commiserate with her partner on the heavy burden you are holding.
Suggest that she bring her own robe and encourage her to wear it. Hospital gowns are hideous creations, especially uncomfortable for plus-sized people, who could have their whole bum hanging out. Whose idea was it to create gowns so small?
By creating a supportive environment in the labor room, free of judgement or societal ideas of beauty or fitness, you help free the birthing mom from any inhibitions about the beauty of her birthing body. Let her feel supported and she'll be free to birth her way without feeling physically judged.
copyright 2006 Sarah Hilbert-West www.birthwares.com
